The Door to Peace
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: "'I pulled you with me, and I didn't even ask.' 'But you did, though.' 'I did' He didn't remember? She knew he had been hyped up, but he had been clear enough of mind to ask for her assistance." Jisbon, AU. What I think could have happened if Jane would have asked Lisbon to come with him after killing RJ. Includes a lot of talking about Jane's state of mind. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello again! This is the BIIG AU story I was talking about the other day. This, however, is a different AU compared to the other AUs I have written, in that the characters are the same in the show, and it's the same setting, just a different path. So, perhaps not really AU, but I don't know what else to call it.**

 **Right, so when Jane left after Red John and called Lisbon to say that he was going to miss her, I instantly yelled 'BUT YOU COULD TAKE HER WITH YOU YOU IDIOT'. Then he spent two freaking years writing her letters while he could still have easily asked her to come over, and I think she would have done it in a heartbeat. Thus, this story was sort of brooding ever since, so imagine how long I've been thinking about it. Then, I started watching Narcos and fell in love and the idea grew of having Jane and Lisbon in a different setting, away from the shit storm that Abbott had caused, and see what could come of that. This story is the fruit of those labors!**

 **At times, this fic might be OOC, but wouldn't you agree that after Red John died, every character had moments where they acted unlike themselves?**

 **Also, I'm scared of uploading this. It is, like so many other fics, sort of my baby.**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 1**_

Of course she knew who was trying to call her. Everything within her wished she could defy the agents who held them arrested, wished she could pick up the phone and tell him that she was there for him. But alas, the entire world around her had fallen apart, and she couldn't do the one thing she believed she was created for - protect Patrick Jane.

She got her phone back eventually, and the first thing she did was check his voicemail message.

" _Lisbon. It's over. It's done. I just want you to know that I'm OK and I'm going to miss you."_

He was leaving. She had always known that this would happen, that it was a possibility anyway, but now that the moment was there, she got scared. She wanted to keep an eye on him, make sure he was okay, but he was leaving and she didn't know where to.

She tried calling him back, but he wouldn't answer her. Perhaps he had thrown away his phone to try and keep people off his trail? She knew that even in the most trying of times, he was always on top of his game, and he always knew what he was doing.

In any case, she had to find him, ASAP. If she didn't, and she learned later on that something bad had happened to him, she would never be able to live with herself. So she went looking for him, in all the usual places, even some unusual ones, but there was no sign of him, not even a vague hint of his presence.

She wouldn't give up, but she had to think straight, so she went home to come up with a plan to find him.

She should have been surprised at who was sitting on her couch, after all her thinking she knew the best option for him was to run away to safety, but she would be lying if she said she had expected a different outcome.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded, barely meeting her eye. "Never better."

He always praised himself for being a closed book, but she had known him for far too long now. She knew this was a cover-up.

She sat down beside him, making him look at her. His eyes seemed lifeless, like two mere marbles staring back at her. She expected there to be blood all over him, but she only found sweat and most likely tears. It made her wonder how he had killed him.

"I thought you were leaving," she stated, mostly to distract him.

"I am."

So why was he still here? It didn't matter. She had to clean him up before he left, so that he got a better start of the rest of his life. She was scared that she would never see him again, so this was the least she could do for him.

"I wanted to say goodbye."

She nodded. "I appreciate it."

She guided him to her bathroom and left him alone then, not too far away in case he needed something.

He emerged from the shower eventually, obviously looking better than before. There was a color to his cheeks again and his eyes were almost as they used to be.

"I'm leaving," he whispered, "and… I would like it if you came with me."

"Come with you? Where to?"

"I don't know yet. I just… I know I'm not safe here. But I don't… want to be alone. No, that's not true. I just don't want to part with you."

"And why is that?"

He looked at her, but shook his head after a while. He wouldn't give her an answer, she knew that.

"Just… would you please come with me?"

"I… I have a job here, Jane… I can't just up and leave." But she quickly realized that she didn't have a job anymore - the CBI, the place where she had felt so at home the past decade or so, where she had found friends who were like family, had fallen apart. There was likely no possibility for her to go back to that life.

"I understand." He nodded and looked away. There was something in his face that made her insides constrict. Perhaps he just needed a friend, someone to help him through his nightmares. She hoped that he could find peace now.

He stepped toward her, and surprised her when he hugged her tightly.

"I really am going to miss you."

He was really saying goodbye.

"Will I ever see you again?"

"I don't know."

She pulled away slightly, to look at him. He was her best friend. In all of her life, she had never known someone like she did him, and she knew meeting him was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. To think that she might have to spend the rest of her life without seeing this face was impossible for her to fathom. However, she had to deal with it. What he was asking of her was basically impossible.

"Please be safe. Whatever you do, just take care of yourself."

He returned her look, and she felt him stare into her soul, touching places that were long hidden from sunlight or human contact. She was going to miss him, more than she would admit to anybody. Surprisingly, she found herself getting a little emotional. They had been friends for so long, she didn't know how she could live without him.

"Thank you, for everything," he whispered. He kissed her cheek, his hand in the back of her neck, and internally she broke but she wouldn't let it show. He needed to do this, she knew, to close this chapter and move on to the next. Who knew? Perhaps he would find a lady who would move on with him, make him happy.

He turned around and grabbed his things, not much, just a small bag with undoubtedly his clothes.

Everything within her told her to act. When he stepped through her front door, he would be gone. There was no way to know for certain whether he would ever come back, and he was her best friend - how could she live without him?

Dammit, Teresa Lisbon, this wasn't a proposal or anything. He's just asking for your company in this for him trying time. He knows that you are probably the only one who can help him.

He looked at her again.

"Don't worry about me."

That was exactly the thing. He could say a thousand times that she needn't worry, but it was in her veins to worry for him. Perhaps it showed on her face, because he cracked a small smile.

As he opened the door, she made up her mind. She grabbed a bag, packed a few items she might need and joined him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, realizing that he might again ruin her life by tearing her away from what she deemed comfortable and familiar. But it had always been like this, from the day they had met. Undoubtedly, it was an unhealthy pattern, but the universe had showed her that she couldn't let go of it, because he would be left alone, by himself, and it had rarely turned out well.

She shook her head.

"There's no use in deciding who's to blame."

She had to keep an eye on him, or she would forever wonder what he was doing. Perhaps then this action could be filed as selfish.

Together, they walked away from this apartment, her apartment, where she had lived for years on end, and she didn't know when she would see it again, if she ever would. Then again, she would rather never see her apartment again than the man who was currently walking beside her.

* * *

 **A/N: This is basically how this story is going to be! I hope you like the beginning, and I'll try and upload regularly. I strive for once a week, unless people really want to have it more frequently. Anyway, let me know what you thought in a REVIEW, thanks so much for reading, and see you next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for your amazing responses! They are really appreciated! Since you've all been so nice to me and my story, I will give you the next chapter now. I hope you'll like it!**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 2**_

When they arrived at the airport, he booked them two tickets on the first flight south out of the country. She knew he had a lot of money, but was always amazed by how easily he spent his fortune.

He looked at her occasionally but she didn't know what to think of his gaze. She hadn't the faintest idea what he could be thinking at that moment.

They hardly talked on their trip, and for a moment she wondered why in hell she had come with him. She felt like a babysitter, making sure he wouldn't do anything harmful. Especially because he hardly acknowledged her presence, even if he had specifically asked her to come with him.

He told her that they would book a hotel for the first night, and he would arrange another place for them the next day. She was honestly too tired from the trip that she just wanted to go to bed.

She finally had time to recap what had happened. One moment, she had been a team leader for the CBI; the next, her consultant had killed the State's most notorious serial killer, and he had asked her to flee the country with him. He had admitted that he didn't want to part with her, but he hadn't explained why. So what was she left with, except for empty words and stares?

They had a room with two separate beds, and he let her choose which one she wanted. As though that was going to lift any of her troubles.

She paid close attention to him - he might seem disinterested, but the fact was still that he had killed someone, and even if it wasn't his first kill, it was Red John. That was bound to leave an impact on him.

Unsurprisingly, he started having nightmares. She was unsure what to do, considering what they weren't, but then realized that despite everything, he was still her best friend. Even before his attempt to kidnap her, and even before the murder of his nemesis, she would have comforted him. Why wouldn't she do so now?

She sat down on the edge of his bed and gently put her hand on his arm. She didn't want him to wake up, but she wanted him to know that there was someone with him, supporting him. It was probably the first moment since their departure that she realized that it had been a good call to come with him.

"No… Teresa…" he whimpered. Her heart constricted a little, but no matter what happened, she knew that she had to support him through this. No matter her personal grievances.

"I'm here," she whispered. Her hand moved down his arm until she could hold his hand. He clutched it tightly and didn't let go until his nightmare had passed.

Only when she was certain that he would be okay did she go back to her own bed.

~...~

The next day, he went and looked for a place for them to stay at, which gave her some time to explore the area. She had no idea if she would leave this place any time soon, so she better enjoy it and make herself comfortable.

Where had they gone to? She hadn't paid attention to their destination while boarding the airplane, or even when they had landed, so they could be anywhere.

At least it was warm. She had been meaning to get away for a while, but she hadn't expected it to be under these circumstances.

Eventually, she found out it was Venezuela that they had come to, and finding out the name made her open up to the place as well. She visited the beach where she decided to take off her shoes and walk the sand barefoot. The feeling of the sand crawling between her toes for some reason liberated her. Perhaps despite her light skin, she was made for this climate. Yet she knew she would get a sunburn easily. Which reminded her that she hadn't put on any sunscreen.

She returned to the hotel where she found Jane. The day before, he had looked pale, as though he had sighted a ghost; yet now, she saw he was doing a little better. There was still work to be done, but it showed her that it could be done.

He didn't say anything, however. She wanted some sound, any sound, to escape him, to know how to talk to him as well.

"I found a house. Two bedrooms, very spacious, lovely view."

"What is it that we are doing here, Jane?"

He looked away. She might have hit a nerve, but she had thrown away her entire life to come with him. God, she didn't even know why in the first place.

"I'm sorry," he stated, not even whispering this time. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and got out some papers. "I've booked an open ticket for you, back home. You can use it whenever you want."

She stared at him, then the ticket. Did he think that this was the solution to all of her problems?

"I don't want you to think that I'm forcing you to stay here. When you're done with me, or perhaps you're homesick, you can always go home."

This was probably the nicest thing he had done for her in a while, if ever. Of course, it wouldn't fix anything, but it proved that he cared.

"Thank you." She averted her eyes, too. "Perhaps I'll like it here. Shall we go to the house, then?"

He showed her one of his sweet smiles and nodded.

~...~

It was a nice house, he was right. He let her choose which room she wanted, like he had let her choose everything this entire trip, and eventually she stood in her new room, her face against the window, looking at the view. And man, what a view. She could see the ocean for as far as her eyes would go, the red and orange glow from the sun making it look like the water was on fire. The smell of the salty water tickled her nostrils - she had never been an ocean kind of girl, the biggest body of water she lived close to was Lake Michigan. Yet now, standing here, she could believe that she might become sort of happy, if she could just look at this view.

"I want to make it up to you," Jane stated, and she hadn't even noticed that he had entered the room.

"Make it up for what?"

"For being in your life. At least like this. I pulled you with me, and I didn't even ask."

"But you did, though."

He frowned, looking away. "I did?"

He didn't remember? She knew he had been hyped up, but he had been clear enough of mind to ask for her assistance.

Perhaps they shouldn't focus on that now. Maybe it was better that they try and settle in here, for as long as they were allowed to be here, so that they could focus on getting him back on his feet soon.

"What did you want to do?"

"Go for dinner." He seemed to recover slightly, returning his gaze to her. "I've seen a restaurant that I think you will love."

She didn't have anything else to do - and she was hungry anyway. This way, at least she had something to do.

~...~

She was observing him intensely, looking for something, anything, that could tell her what his current state of mind was. Patrick Jane was a master in hiding his true feelings, would rarely show that he was sad, especially not to her. At this point in time, however, it was not in his best interest to keep things from her, and certainly not this. They only had each other to turn to for help, and she would gladly give it to him - as long as he did give it to her.

"Do you want to talk about… about what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, with Red John."

"Oh, that." He took some time to think. "I would like to. Not here, though."

"That's okay." She made him look at her. "I want you to know that you can tell me anything. You don't have to, but I will listen anyway."

He nodded. "Thank you, Lisbon."

They continued their dinner discussing nothing really significant. She appreciated that he was talking to her at all.

~...~

She bought them a bottle of wine, perhaps celebrating the possibility of him opening a new chapter in his life. She just wanted to know that he was okay, and she knew him - this was not his 'okay'.

She poured both of them a glass and they seated themselves on the balcony, with that view she had only recently acquainted but already regarded as a good friend.

"I killed him," he started quite abruptly. Still, she looked at him, mostly to let him know that she was listening to him. "I strangled him, watched the life flow out of him. It was… satisfying, for a few moments. Then I felt… funny. What makes me any better than him? I killed a man in cold blood. I know that I feel it's justified, but… the court won't feel that. I know that."

When he fell silent, she thought of something to say - she came up empty.

"I don't regret it. I'm glad I killed the son of a bitch. But… I know I'm not any better than him. I feel… worthless."

His eyes focused on her again.

"Did I disappoint you, Lisbon?"

She shook her head.

"I knew you would do it. Had I hoped you would be spared this fate? Sure. But at the end of the day, I knew that you intended to kill him."

"I feel dirty."

"Is there anything I can do to help you with that?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

She sighed. "I wish I could help you."

They fell silent again. Her heart broke for him, her best friend, who had been tormented for most of his life. He wouldn't get a break from it either, metaphorically rolling down a hill and only stopping when he drowned in the lake at the feet of the slope.

"I'm sorry, Jane."

He shook his head. "No. I'm sorry. I have always used you as a… a… personal bodyguard, or a psychologist, or whatever. I have never actually taken your feelings into account. I'm going to start doing that more often from now on. I want to be a better friend to you, like you are to me… I have more time for that now."

They both smiled briefly. Hold onto this, Patrick Jane. The world will be a better place for you to live in, now that Red John is gone. She knew it.

"Lisbon?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I hug you?"

His question startled her, but she couldn't say no, now could she?

So she hugged him tight, like they always should have. She sometimes wished that they could be more than what they were now. Perhaps she wanted a family like everybody else, but she knew she could never have that with him. Patrick Jane was so unavailable for love and romance that even the Pope could learn something from him.

"You will be okay, Patrick Jane," she whispered.

"At least, if you're here with me."

She smiled and settled into the space beside him. Arm to arm, they watched the sun sink into the ocean.

* * *

 **A/N: Just remember, this story is eventually going to be Jisbon! Just hang in there!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know, short short SHORT chapter but I couldn't make it any longer, because the next chapter starts with a crucial part and I couldn't possibly cut it up. So, just bear with me, hopefully tomorrow or Sunday I will have the next (longer) chapter up!**

 **This chapter is more hurt/comfort than any of the others, and it is going to be the worst, I guess. Also, did I mention I already finished this entire story?**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 3**_

They didn't have a lot of furniture, just the bare necessities, so the next day they went shopping for chairs, a table and the likes. Not too many things, they didn't know how long they would stay here, but she had a feeling that it might be a long time still.

She let her hand glide over some of the furniture, and she already found herself piecing together a theme for the place, a certain color scheme as it were. She shouldn't let herself get used to this situation, because with Patrick Jane, you never really knew what to expect. Still, she felt that he was sincere about his efforts to consider her wishes and needs.

He was smiling at her occasionally, and she felt happy that he let it show, but she also noticed that he was distant, and his mind was foggy.

Maybe they needed to relax a bit, not talk about anything of significance. Make him clear his head and let him be carefree for a while.

"Let's go to the beach."

It took him a few seconds until her statement registered. When it did, he smiled.

"Why?"

"We should be able to have fun, shouldn't we?"

He didn't argue with that. They finished their business in peace.

~...~

Something had changed about him, she could tell. It felt like a sort of peace, a calm she had never felt in his vicinity. She loved him as her friend, but he had always radiated a sense of chaos, often controlled but not always. Yet when she looked at him now, except for the little confusion that was still swimming in his eyes, he seemed a lot more relaxed in this environment, with the knowledge that he had once and for all killed his archenemy.

The knowledge of his wellbeing did her well, too. She felt comfortable leaving him at the beach while she dove in. She felt relaxed under the surface of the water, where the entire world was calm and quiet, peaceful even. If only she could stay here forever.

She resurfaced, brushing her now wet hair out of her face. When she focused on the beach, she saw Jane come close.

"The water's nice."

"It is indeed."

He too dove under the surface, only to show his face again after a while. She liked how his curls stuck to his face, not completely tamed, she doubted if they ever could be. He smiled when he looked at her.

"I believe I've never seen you in a bikini before, Lisbon."

"I can say the same for you."

"I can't say I have ever worn a bikini."

She rolled her eyes but it felt good to have him tease her like this, the way it had been before their worlds had crashed down.

She splashed water into his face as a way of teasing him back, and he returned her actions, until she noticed that this had stopped being funny for him, his frustration visible in his entire face. She stepped towards him and grabbed his wrists, his arms still trying to trash around him.

"Hey," she said, firmly, trying to get his attention. "Jane."

He didn't calm down. She put her hands on his cheeks instead, making him look at her. She saw tears in his eyes, and she wished she could take his heartache from him, carry it so that he didn't have to.

He cried out, and she hugged him them, pulling his soul into hers, her fingers in the hairs on the back of his neck, trying to comfort him and support him.

"Hey," she whispered in his ear. "You can get through this."

She looked around and judged if there was a calm area where only few people could see them. When they got there, she continued to hold him, until he was merely breathing deeply into her neck.

"I'm so pathetic," he whispered eventually. She shook her head.

"I'm proud of you, Jane. I know that it's not easy to see that, I know you think I'm anything but, but I'm really proud of you."

"I killed a man."

"It's not only about that, Jane. I'm proud of the fact that you chose life. I know, no… I can imagine how hard it was, after… but… you chose for _you_. And I'm so proud of that."

He was quiet for a while. She brushed some curls out of his face.

"You always know what to say."

"Guess I learned from the best. Let's get you back to the house." She looked at him a few seconds longer. "C'mere."

She wiped his tears off his face, and she admitted to herself in that moment that he meant something to her she would never admit to anyone. She wished it had been somebody else, but the fact that it was him both terrified and relaxed her.

She made sure he was settled in on the new couch they had purchased, before working around the place a little. Eventually, he joined her, but they didn't speak a word, just looked at each other occasionally.

She let him do what he wanted, even if during the evening he left their place to do whatever it was that he did. She popped herself some wine and once again looked at that sunset. How could such a view work so therapeutically for an individual, even if everything around her was so messed up?

Long after the sun had disappeared, she knew it was time to retire to bed. Only then did she realize how much wine she had actually had. It weighed her down, numbed her limbs, and she just sighed and fell back into the seat. Well, she could sleep here, too.

When she awoke, she could make out Jane's silhouette, apparently tucking her into bed. He really did care about her. He might mask it with some unfortunately chosen words, but he cared. She grabbed his hand when he walked away.

"Jane, I…"

He shook his head. Their eyes met, and despite the alcohol coursing through her blood, she could still see that he was fighting… _something_.

"Don't, Teresa. You're drunk."

She swallowed her words. Now was not the time. When was it ever?

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

She was done with this. She just wanted to sleep.

"Or do you want to do this now?" he asked her. She could hear a trace of anger and frustration in his voice. She shouldn't talk to him the way she was doing now, for he was still hurting, was still trying to live with the idea that Red John was gone. But just in this moment, she was done putting her life on hold for him, done with suffering in quiet. Even if she knew that tomorrow, she would do exactly that, to protect him.

"Depends on what 'this' is."

"Discussing us."

"Us? What us is there, Jane? You pulled me with you, by my ear, and just because I didn't protest doesn't mean I'm here on my own volition. Now I do this because I care for you, but… never mind. Whatever."

She would hurt him too much. She was asking too much of him. For a moment, she had forgotten who he was, but she realized now that this was still Patrick Jane - and he had only just recently killed Red John, the murderer of his wife and child, and he was still rebuilding the walls around him, trying to find a modicum of normalcy. She was asking way too much.

He didn't respond to her. Eventually, she heard him leave the room. She hoped he wouldn't talk about this again, because neither would she.

* * *

 **A/N: Jane, Lisbon, CHILLAX. JEEZ. Next chapter will be better, I promise. I had to let Lisbon get a little angry for Jane to realize what he was doing to her. Not that I will be writing from his perspective in this story, just let your creative minds fill in what Jane might take from this last conversation.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is where the actual fun starts! Well, fun, it's still hurt/comfort, but they're not fighting anymore in this chapter, and they won't be from this point on, actually. Also, thank you guys so much for your lovely responses! They are so appreciated!**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 4**_

She had looked at the ticket often, the one that would bring her back to her old life, but every time she wanted to use it, she realized she didn't have much going for her there, either. Except for her family which she only saw with the holidays, and her few friends. Her dearest friend was the one who had pulled her in like this. She would do anything for him, but that feeling was not reciprocated. He had told her he would keep her in mind more often, but it hadn't happened yet.

He became more and more absent, the longer they were there and the longer they turned around that specific topic.

Which topic? Her love for him. And perhaps, his love for her as well. She didn't know. They hardly communicated.

But she did know of her own feelings. She believed she loved him. He had not shown her any reason to, but still, she loved him.

One day, however, her patience was gone. She was honestly ready to use that ticket, but she had to try to hold on, for his sake.

She was about to confront him with his behavior when he offered her a cup of tea. He looked like he meant business. She sat down beside him and waited for him to continue.

"I want you to listen to what I have to say… but we cannot go back. We have to finish this conversation."

She nodded.

"I'm sorry I behaved the way I have. I… I still stand by my statement all those years ago. People who come close to me, bad things happen to them." He shook his head and averted his eyes. "I… I guess I want to protect you, against all common sense. Since Angela and Charlotte… I haven't cared about anyone like I care about you. I can't lose you. But… I have been alone for so long, I can't… _be_ with you. I can only hope you might one day fall in love with an amazing guy, who can make you happy."

"I can't fall in love without you. I can't fall in love with anyone else but you."

"I was afraid you would say that."

They were silent for a while. Her heart was beating frantically in her chest, having admitted that particular secret. For him, she knew it was no secret.

"I'm damaged goods, Lisbon. I want to mean as much to you as you mean to me, but… every time I let my thoughts get that far, it just goes… black. Or it goes back to him." He sighed. "I had hoped that us going here might open a few doors… that it might make it easier for me to commit to these feelings. But… I can see you're struggling. I want you to be happy. That's all I want for you. That you're happy."

He was sweet. He really was. Yet the only way for her to be happy was if she knew that he was happy.

It was quite pathetic. Both of their happiness depended on the happiness of the other.

"Shall we go for a walk?" she asked him cautiously. He cracked a small smile and nodded.

They looked at the sun setting in the faraway distance, while they sat in a small alcove on the beach, out of view from most people. They hadn't been here that long, but they knew countless of secrets of Mother Nature in this area.

"I saw that cute bartender look at you the other day. Perhaps he's interested in you," he said, obviously in an attempt to lighten the mood. It didn't work, not for her, anyway.

"Don't mock me," she whispered. His smile left.

"I'm sorry."

She was done. She was done living a lie, was done keeping this from him. Even though she knew that he already knew about her feelings, he deserved to know. And perhaps he would never be capable to love her like she did him, perhaps he would never love anyone ever again, that human emotion deleted from his brain after years of grief, but she could love him. He deserved that.

She hurt with the idea that he might never reciprocate her feelings, but that was what it was like between them. Jane hurting her, time and time again, but she still saved him when she could.

"Jane, I need you to know… that I'm in love with you. Only you. It's always been you, and it'll stay you. You deserve to hear it."

He looked at her. She saw his eyes filled with sadness.

"I wish it could have been different. I want only the best for you, and that's not me. But… I cannot deny what you want. I can't refuse you that." He sighed.

"I want you to be happy." She studied his face. She knew her words were vague, but they were true. She loved him, very dearly, but if he didn't want to have her around, she would leave. "What will make you happy, Jane?"

He shook his head. "It's impossible."

"Just tell me. I won't be able to help you otherwise."

Their eyes met when he turned his head. She saw her entire future in them.

"You. Being with you, in every sense of the word… it could make me eternally happy."

"Then why can't we try that? It can't hurt to try, can it?"

"You don't understand, Lisbon. If this goes wrong… there won't be anything left for me in this world. I will perish."

"Then we'll make sure this will work."

"We can't know that for certain."

This wasn't going to work like this. His eternal insecurities would always haunt him and shield him from her. She had to come up with a different approach.

"Do you trust me?"

He frowned. "Of course. Why?"

She moved closer to him until she could caress his cheeks. Then, she moved in and kissed him, the touch of his lips startling even her, and her heart nearly jumped out of her chest.

One of his hands came up to cover hers, and she held on to this moment, just them, not knowing what would follow next. Her words from before were right, she knew - she had fallen in love with him, and it would always be him, until the end of her days. She was scared beyond belief, but she would give her entire being to him, if he would have her. Her mind worked overtime trying to make this kiss last a lifetime.

When they pulled away to catch their breath, she looked into his eyes. They smiled at her, even if his lips stayed stiff.

"Teresa," he whispered. He had to stop talking. If he did talk, she feared that he would refuse her. So she let her desire for the next kiss overtake her, and she linked their lips again, her hands holding onto him tighter this time. His hands pulled her closer, supporting her while she was flush against his chest. She could feel his heart beat frantically there, much like her own.

What were they doing? They were throwing away their friendship for this unstable, impossible love. Still, she loved him so much, she would do anything to be with him. The prospect of losing him, him drifting away from her without ever having admitted her feelings, was way more painful than the possibility of them breaking up. Even though, she knew she wouldn't allow this, whatever it was that they were building, to go sour.

She felt something wet touch her cheek, and quickly realized that he was crying. She pulled away to look at him, already wiping his tears off his cheeks.

"Don't leave me," he whispered. "I know I got you here against your will, but please… life without you is a life not worth living. I would rather die than not being able to see you."

"I won't leave you. I promise." She kissed a corner of his mouth. "We can take it slow, if time is what you need. Just promise me you won't leave me, either."

He nodded. She brushed his cheek, and he smiled, even if it was small. She always noticed his smiles.

"I love you," he whispered. "No matter what happens, please don't forget that."

She nodded, and traced his lips with her fingertips. Oddly enough, it felt like they had never done anything else but this, but maybe she had been pathetic for far too long, pining after him. She had always imagined touching his lips like this, and the reality did not disappoint.

She knew that this was not a happy ending yet, not for him, not yet. His demons still had control over him, and she expected that it would take a while until he could put all that behind him, but she hoped that her presence by his side, now in a different way than before, would be a push in the right direction.

"Let's go," she whispered. He nodded, but he kissed her before they stood, drawing her into his arms, and she knew she would never want to have anything less than this.

~...~

They had a quiet evening, basking in what they had just revealed to each other.

When they cooked, they stood side by side, sometimes looking at each other and smiling. She couldn't stop herself from kissing his cheek when she could.

So much had happened all of a sudden, and she still couldn't believe that all of this had happened. Had she really confessed her feelings to him? Had he really accepted her words, basked in the feeling of them, and had he really admitted that he felt the same way? It all felt so quick, and she was scared out of her mind. Scared that he would regret this, that he would revert back to his usual self, hurting her almost on default. She had given him everything of her, the deepest, most cherished feelings, of how she loved him and only him, and she was scared that he would abuse this knowledge.

She looked at him when she was feeling especially anxious, and he smiled at her, that soft smile that was still so foreign to her, not feigning his emotions. Yet he noticed that something was bugging her, and he lowered his face slightly to look directly into her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, but she could feel tears burning in her eyes. She hated how she was so easy to read.

"Can you kiss me?"

And he did, chasing most of her doubts away. It would be a long process, she knew - he had a bad track record in her heart, hurting her time and time again, and he was also still hurting. Perhaps she would never be able to trust him 120%, like you should trust somebody you love, but she would give him the little trust that she could muster. She could do that for him.

They retired to bed, mainly because both were tired from this, especially emotionally, exhausting day. He had entered his room, but she hesitated in front of hers. Would it be too soon? She didn't intend to go _that_ far, especially not if he didn't want to, but she had liked it when she was in his arms. She would like to be there again, but she could wait until the next day, if it was necessary.

"We could just cuddle," he stated while standing in the doorway to his room. "I would like to be in your arms again."

She smiled and stepped towards him.

"I'll get changed, then."

She stepped into his bedroom when she was done, and found him in the bed already. His open arms looked so inviting. She almost slipped when she climbed onto the bed, but it only made her fall into his arms. He was there to catch her.

They kissed some more, some kisses slow, others passionately. She felt at home here next to him. She had always felt comfortable being around him, because no matter how much of a jerk he could be, he was her best friend. Now, she was in the arms of said best friend, his lips on hers and one of his hands in her hair.

When they had to catch their breaths, he still kissed the skin in her neck.

"I think I need help to get over… I… I can't even say it." He chuckled, but it was humorlessly of course. "That's why I need help."

"I can support you," she whispered. "But I don't have any experience with this. I'm afraid I'll only make things worse."

She looked at him. "We'll get you help. I promise."

He kissed her cheek. "I love you."

It felt oddly familiar and intimate, to be laying in his arms, in his bed, and have him tell her those words. It meant so much to her.

"I love you, too." She smiled at him. "Thank you so much for telling me. For being honest with me. I can imagine it might be difficult sometimes."

"It was. But now that I told you… it's become easier. Actually… I quite enjoy telling you how much I love you. It had built up for so long… I guess it just wanted to escape now."

"Well, I'm glad." She wrapped an arm around him tightly. "I enjoy telling you, too."

They kissed again, smiling. Would she ever get enough of his kisses? She felt like her desire for this would never be fulfilled.

"I don't want you to have any fantasies, not about us," he whispered when they parted. "I don't know if I will be able to be what you deserve to have. You deserve a man who can support you, who you can count on when you need it. I'll only be a burden. But… I love you. So much. More than words could ever describe. I… I hope that this could be enough."

"Of course," she whispered. She wanted to call him Patrick, but Jane was so familiar to her, to them. Perhaps, with all that had been happening today, a bit of familiarity would be good for them. "Jane. You have always been exactly what I needed. I can't deny that you're the most irritating man I have ever met, stubborn, too. God, I've wanted to kill you a million times. But I know there's much more to you than what you have shown me. And that prospect… it's enough for me. Even then, I love you. I've loved you for years." She brushed the top of one of his arms. They were surprisingly muscular for somebody who lay on a couch all day long. Surely there must be more to him than expected.

"We'll see what happens in the future. It's too early to tell. But no matter what happens, I'll stay with you, in whatever way possible. You're my best friend. I can't possibly live without you."

He was silent for a while, then chuckled softly. "Telling me that I'm your best friend while we're in bed together is not exactly a turn-on."

She rolled her eyes and hit his arm playfully. He smiled at her.

"I can't wait to wake up next to you tomorrow morning," he whispered. Her heart made leaps at his words, his eyes, full with love, focused solely on her. A warmth spread through her body like it never had before - was this love? It had to be.

She had no reply to his words, considering she was not a poet like him, so she simply kissed him, hoping that that would do the trick. Seeing as he smiled against her lips, she considered her move to be successful.

Eventually, her tiredness won from her, as she was unable to keep her eyes open. His arms only tightened around her, and they served as a fortress, a warm blanket wrapped around her. Who could blame her when she couldn't keep her smile from her face?

* * *

 **A/N: I know, they went very fast here, but these feelings have been brooding in their minds for years now, I can imagine. I seriously think that if I wouldn't have had them admit their feelings, they could have drifted apart, and obviously I didn't want that to happen. Anyway, please let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you so much, and have a nice evening!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks so much for your kind words! Really appreciate it! Also did I mention that this is where the story gets really, really sappy? It's still hurt/comfort in the mix there, but I guess Jane and Lisbon are finally happy since, what, ages.**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 5**_

They slowly eased into this life together. They took pleasure in being able to kiss each other the way they had always wanted, to hug, to talk about their feelings, even if there were still things they did not talk about.

She had wanted for him that they would take their time developing their love, but only a couple of nights after they had confessed their love, he had slipped into her arms crying after having suffered a nightmare. One thing led to another, and before they knew it they were making love, something she had not planned would happen but while they were in the throes of it, couldn't get herself to stop.

He felt so good. Everything she had ever wished for and expected, but more. He knew what to do, even if he was insecure, and she could feel it. Yet she had never felt so good during sex, but it was for that exact reason - it had always been just sex. No feelings, or hardly any. Yet she had never loved anyone as much as she loved Patrick Jane - and it was palpable in everything. _Especially_ while making love.

He was still finding himself, and he had sought help to fight his demons, for as much as she couldn't help him with that. He was booking progress, but it would take some time.

She'd had to find a way to start her pill again, because as much as she loved him, she didn't want their newfound love to be interrupted by a baby, no matter how much she would love to have one. They needed to focus on getting him back on his feet, and then after that, they would look at their possibilities. He understood her feelings, and had tried in his very best Spanish to find something for them, her.

Often, she wouldn't see him for an entire day, but he always promised her that he would come back to her. He had learned from his previous mistakes in not telling her where he was going, she guessed. In any case, she knew that most of the time, he was at therapy sessions.

One day, roughly two months after their declaration of love, she was enjoying the late afternoon sun while taking a dip in the sea, basking in the sunlight and the knowledge that she was happy, for the first time in a while.

She saw a familiar face approach her, and she couldn't help but smile at his presence, as she waded to one of the few spots where they could go relatively unnoticed. Once there, she turned back to him.

"How was your day?" she asked him, trying to start a casual conversation. He didn't agree with this turn of events, however, for he stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her completely flush to his chest.

"A bit lonely, to be honest." He brushed a few strands of her hair out of her face, and his fingers lingered on her cheek. "I want to greet you properly."

She arched an eyebrow. She knew where this was going, but she still liked to play along.

"And how's that?"

His eyes twinkled as he leaned down, and very slowly linked their lips. His approach was sensual, and it made her heart leap, made her want to stay with him the rest of her life. She would certainly never get enough of him like this. His tongue traced her lips, one of his hands cupping her bottom, and she gasped, pushing herself flush against him.

They put their foreheads together when they caught their breath. For the past few weeks, whenever she looked in his eyes, she always saw her future awaiting her, so much for them in store, still. She hoped that the bad luck that had been chasing both of them ever since their acquaintance would finally leave them.

"If you weren't here," he whispered, "I don't know what I would be doing. I wouldn't… know what to do. I would just exist, be a mere shell. I… want to thank you, for being here."

"You know you don't have to thank me. I'm here because I want to be with you. Trust me. There's nowhere in the world I would rather be than right by your side."

He smiled at her, this special display of emotion he had reserved especially for her. He smiled at others, but they were never the same as the ones aimed at her.

"Did your therapist tell you to start this conversation?" she asked cautiously, wanting to know where this sudden turn of events had come from. They had talked about his feelings, these past couple of years, but he had never thanked her for anything. Not like this, anyway. He really didn't need to.

He shook his head. "Living together with you has sparked this. I… I still can't believe I'm waking up every morning to see your beautiful face."

She smiled and brushed his cheek. She saw something in his eyes that had been there before, but not in this intensity, so pure and wholesome.

"Lisbon… Teresa… you know I won't let you go anymore, right? I won't be able to live without you, so… I might as well glue you to me."

She chuckled, but was curious what he was getting at. He sounded serious despite his joke.

"We have not been together for so long… I know that. But I have known you for so long, you have become a part of me I can't live without. I don't want to part with you anymore."

"What are you trying to say, Patrick?"

He took in a deep breath.

"If we go back… no, _when_ we go back… I would like… to marry you."

Her entire being warmed from within, for this amazing, sweet, kind man wanted to marry her. He had, despite his inner demons and the anxiety he was feeling every day, taken a big step and confessed to her just what he wanted for them in the future. He had never before talked about something in the future, had never disclosed any of his plans, ever. He had always left her in the dark and had always explained it to her afterwards, when the harm was already done. But now, he had let her know that he wanted their together to last forever, and she loved every word of it, every image that could slip into her head.

"Is this a proposal?" she asked him softly, wanting to know for certain if this was what she thought it was. Something she had learned after committing to him fully, was trying to make sure that they were on the same page. Ever since knowing each other, he had always been one chapter ahead of her, but she needed to know that they were thinking the same thing now. She needed to know that she understood him, so that there wouldn't be any misconceptions.

"Yes. Unless... "

"Unless what?"

"Unless I misread the signs." He looked at her intently, pulling away from her a little. Instinctively, she pulled him close again. "Did I?"

"No. I want to be with you, for as long as you'll allow me to be with you. If that is forever… that's alright by me."

"So you'll marry me?"

"Of course I'll marry you, Patrick Jane. How could I not?"

He smiled so brightly he could fix the entire world's problems, the hunger, the floods, if everybody could just see this beautiful man.

~...~

His Spanish was quite good for an American. He was unable to fool people that he was anything but a 'gringo', but he could find his way around this world quite easily. It might have helped that his therapy was mainly in Spanish.

She had no such luck. Every time she went to the stores, she had her trusted English-Spanish dictionary with her, making her look like an idiot, but she knew she wouldn't otherwise get around.

"Can I help you with that?" an unfamiliar voice asked her. She was curious, she had to admit. It had been perfect English in an area where she heard little to none of it. All of the English was with a heavy accent, barely distinguishable. This was different.

"What do you want?" she asked the man, a little suspicious of his motives.

"I want to help you. What do you need?"

She showed him her grocery list, and he smiled while getting all of them in flawless Spanish.

Who was this man? And why was he helping a complete stranger? Perhaps he thought that he could flirt with her?

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He smiled at her. He was a good looking man, she had to admit. He looked like he could blend in perfectly, but his English told her otherwise. His eyes while looking at her betrayed what she thought his intentions might be.

"I have to be honest with you," she started, "I'm totally taken."

He shrugged. "That's okay. I just wanted the opportunity to talk with you. It's rare to meet a fellow American down here."

Again, that smile. What were his intentions? If he wasn't here to flirt with her, why else did he talk to her?

"Marcus Pike," he stated while extending his hand. She shook it.

"Teresa Lisbon."

"Nice to meet you, Teresa. Will I be seeing you around more often?"

"I don't believe I'll be leaving, no."

"Then until next time."

He smiled at her as he walked away, and he was honestly charming, doing things to her she shouldn't be feeling. Was it bad to admit that he was good looking?

Yes. She was committed to Jane. She couldn't put him through the pain of this. It would be too cruel.

If Marcus Pike wanted to be her friend, she would gladly accept it. She could use some company that was not also in bed with her every night. But if he would want to have more, she would kindly tell him that he could leave.

~...~

Next time she went grocery shopping, she saw him again. He greeted her like before with that smile of his, way before any words came out of his mouth.

"Teresa, what a pleasure to see you here."

"Pleasure's all mine."

They quickly fell into meaningless small talk, discussing the weather, the Venezuelans, until they had paid for their groceries and it was time to leave.

"I really like your company, Teresa. In a non-sexual, non-romantic kind of way. Would you mind to get to know me some more? I mean, it's rare enough to meet another American, let alone one who is so nice. Most come here to avoid their life there."

If only he knew.

"Sure, it should be nice."

And so their friendship started. They usually went to the beach, talking about nothing really significant. She enjoyed talking to him, and quickly regarded him as her friend.

The thing that bothered her most was that she was a little scared to tell Jane about Marcus. She hoped that he would take it well, but she was afraid that his insecurities would get the better of him.

She thought of keeping this from him, but she prefered that he didn't keep secrets from her either, so she couldn't do this to him.

"Patrick?" she asked him while they were having dinner. He looked up from his plate.

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to say something, and I don't want you to panic until I have finished."

"What's wrong?"

"I met this guy, Marcus. He's also from the States."

She saw his heart breaking in his beautiful eyes, while tears were building up there. Her own heart reached out to him, wanted to tell him that he didn't need to worry, but she had to finish this, or else she might break his heart beyond repair.

"Oh."

"He's a really nice guy, fluent in Spanish so he can translate for us when we're struggling. And he's not interested in me like that, and neither am I. I… wanted you to know this, in case you heard this from someone else."

He was quiet for a while, and she saw some tears escape his eyes. She felt guilt build up in her stomach, her heart breaking into tiny pieces. She regretted ever having accepted Marcus Pike into her life. She hoped that all of the progress that Jane had made wasn't lost due to this incident.

"I worried," he whispered. He looked down at his lap. "I should have known I didn't have to."

She reached out and grabbed his hand, stroking the top of it.

"Hey. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and that I broke it to you like this."

He shook his head.

"No. You don't need to apologize. You are definitely not my prisoner, as I hope you know. You are allowed to meet other people. And… I trust you. More than anyone in the world. You have put your faith in me, and I will always return that favor. So please… do have fun. I don't want you to be unhappy here. I know… I feel… it might be lonely sometimes, to be here in this unfamiliar country, with people who don't speak English, with just me as a companion. There's nothing I can do about that, except for letting you go out and explore the world."

He paused for a while, averting his eyes. His words meant so much to her, the trust he put in her, his love and faith. He trusted her to be around another man, who was, as far as they knew, single. He trusted that she would come back to his bed, Patrick Jane's. _Their_ bed.

"I love you, my dearest Teresa. And trust me, I always will."

She got up and stood beside him, her fingers automatically finding their way into his curls, and he settled his head against her belly, his eyes closing in bliss.

"I love you, Patrick. Thank you for your trust. I promise I won't abuse it."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. She was so lucky. How had this happened?

* * *

 **A/N: There you go! I know, it might seem fast, but just remember that in between most paragraphs, there are a couple of weeks, so that just has to do for taking their time. Anyway, I think Jane being 'forced' to face his feelings time and time again during therapy will 'force' him to see the true extent of their relationship. And I think that both of them are still a little scared to lose each other. I know getting married will not solve that, but the fact that they now both know that the other is in this for the long run, I guess it should be enough for them. Anyway, let me know what you thought! Have a nice day!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know some people are expecting an immediate continuation of Pike's story line, but that will have to wait to a future chapter. It is coming, though, just you wait! Also, thanks so much for your reviews! Also, I feel like this chapter is the sappiest, fluffiest, cheesiest of them all. Be warned! Also, warning, somebody might throw up in this chapter. Also, I need to stop the use of the word 'also'...**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 6**_

Sometimes, she woke up before him, and it allowed her to look at him, without him blushing at her attention, or interrupting the moment. She could look at _him_ then, not at the facade he often put up. He couldn't be blamed, however. There was a reason he was still in therapy.

She knew it was a cliche, but he was the most beautiful man she had ever known. Everything about him was perfect, from his angelic blond hair to his adorable little freckles that had been brought out by the intense sun, from his delicious lips to the slight stubble on his chin and jaw. She got calm in his presence, even if sometimes her heart skipped a beat. The knowledge that he was there, despite all the bad things he had done to her, relaxed her to no end. He cared for her, and that had always been just a fantasy in her life. Not just that _anyone_ cared for her, but that Patrick Jane, specifically, would. She didn't know why, but it meant so much to her.

She let her hands wander off, her fingers tracing his face. She didn't need to commit him to memory, would forever know how to describe his features, like they were imprinted in her brain. Even before they got together, she knew his face, although not as intimately as she did now.

The corners of his lips curled up a little, but she knew not to mistake this for him waking up. He was still very much asleep.

She had always wished just this for him - someone who loved him deeply, like he loved them, and to be looked after and to be cared for. The fact that it was her who got to fulfill this filled her with joy.

He slowly awoke, taking his sweet time. She hadn't meant for him to wake up, but now she could kiss him properly, at least.

His sleepy eyes met hers, and there was that familiar twinkle in them she had acquainted with since their unlikely romance had started. He loved looking at her, that much she knew.

"Good morning," she whispered, not being able to fight her own smile. She loved him so much, she could never get enough of seeing him, and telling him exactly how much he meant to her.

"G'morning, sleepy head," he whispered, pulling her close. In the morning, he sometimes called her ridiculous things, like 'buttercup' or 'sweetheart', but she knew it was partly to tease her, and partly because he didn't have anywhere else for his love to go to. You couldn't possibly kiss someone more often than always, right?

"I woke up before you."

He shrugged. "Meh. Tomayto, tomahto."

She rolled her eyes, and he kissed her, drawing away some of her sleepiness.

"How did you sleep?" he asked her.

"Alright, I guess."

"You guess?" She saw worry grow in his eyes.

"I've not been feeling too well. I don't think it's anything serious, just… a cold, perhaps."

"If you need some time off, from me, from this environment, just tell me, okay?"

She nodded. She sighed and traced his lips. "Hey. Don't worry about me, okay? When has a cold ever brought me down?"

He chuckled and kissed her cheek. "I just care about you. I love you."

"I love you, too." He kissed her lips then, his soul poured into her heart, and she held on to him tightly, even though she knew he wouldn't leave her, not willingly anyway.

"Do you want some tea?" he asked her eventually. She nodded.

"I would love that."

She watched him get out of their bed stark naked, rushing to get her desired beverage.

~...~

She got worse during the day, and by the time they were ready for dinner, she felt like she was on fire, everything hurting, not even having enough energy to keep her head up. Jane had noticed, of course. He had been worried the entire day, looking at her to judge how she was doing, and checking up on her from time to time.

His arms appeared all around her, and he lifted her into the air, and she saw him look down at her, no doubt worried about her. He put her to bed and brought her some soup and toast.

"Nothing too heavy," he whispered. "And take your time. You'll lose it otherwise."

He went to sit next to the bed, but she refused his position there.

"Please come."

He obeyed her, like he always had and would, and she settled into his side. She didn't want to eat, just wanted to sleep, and she knew he could tell, so he took the food from her and fed it to her, instead.

"I love you so much," she whispered. "I don't know who I would be without you. You are so ingrained in my personality… I think I would be a completely different person."

"I disagree. You were already an amazing person when I met you."

"That's easy for you to say."

"It is… because it's true. Now, just sleep, Teresa. You won't get any better from this discussion."

She sighed and settled against his side, yet just as she was about to fall asleep, she could very clearly feel her dinner climb back up. Jane was just in time to get her a bucket. He pulled her hair back, brushing her forehead to let her know that he was there. She hadn't felt quite so horrible in a long time, but oddly enough his presence made it possible to hang on.

"I'm staying with you," he whispered when she had recovered. "No matter how much you protest, I'll stay right here."

And he did, getting her some water when she asked for it, or when she didn't, and he held her, even when she had just thrown up. She could only admire his efforts, so selfless in their nature.

"How are you not grossed out?" she managed to croak. He wiped some sweat off her forehead, even kissing her skin, and it only made her question more important to be answered.

"I had a child once," he whispered, calmly, but even through her feverish mind, she could tell that he was at least slightly emotional. "And a pregnant wife. There is nothing I haven't seen before."

Surely she was hallucinating eventually, because she could clearly see him with their baby, looking after them when they were sick, and it felt incredibly reassuring, familiar even, surprisingly enough. She wouldn't try to get pregnant on purpose, but if it happened by accident, she would embrace it with all the love in the world.

She felt his hand touch her forehead, the feeling somehow faraway.

"Jane… I want everything with you. The nice house and the white picket fence-"

"You're burning up," he interrupted her. "Just sleep now, Teresa."

"I know it's the fever talking… but I want a baby, Patrick. Not now, and not if you don't want to…" She swallowed down another bout of nausea. She took her eyes off him for a second, but when she tried to focus back on his features, everything was turning. "All I know is that… that I can die happy… knowing that we, uh… had a baby."

Talking was getting more difficult with every word, her words slurred, and she started to panic. What if this was more than just a bug?

"Hey. It's okay. We'll finish this conversation another time, when you're feeling better."

She grasped his arm, and it seemed to alert him. His hand touched her forehead again.

"Teresa?" His voice sounded more like an echo, and his attempts to get some sound out of her slowly faded away. "Teresa!"

Only his face remained, as if being streamed in high quality, every pixel visible. Such a beautiful face he had. She was so proud to call him hers.

~...~

The next thing she knew, she was in a soft bed, and she could hear soft sobbing sounds close to her ear. She tried to open her eyes, but they refused. Instead, her hand reached out to find the source of the voice.

"Hey," it whispered. She recognized that voice. "It's okay. You have a very high fever. You have to sleep or you'll get worse."

She dug deep within her and could find the strength to whisper three words.

"I love you."

Something touched her forehead, and at first she thought it was an ice pack, but through her daze she realized eventually that it was his hand.

"I love you too, Teresa. Sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up."

So she did exactly as he told her.

~...~

She could smell soup a little later on, and she noticed how hungry she was. Her eyes opened but she instantly closed them, as bright light met her and caused her head to throb painfully.

"Take it easy," the voice from before whispered. A hand came to support her head, and she slowly sat up.

Slowly, she could open her eyes, and she found it wasn't actually that bright. She saw Jane sitting on the edge of the bed, his arm extending to behind her head. Worry was written all over his features, and she had to admit she felt slightly guilty for making him feel like this.

He gave her a cup and it was the source of the soup scent from before. She gratefully took a few sips.

"How are you feeling?"

"Ugh… like a truck run me over."

He smiled at that. His hand brushed a few loose hairs out of her face.

"What happened?"

"You developed a fever. It got so high your brain was basically cooking. It caused you to, uh… hallucinate, talk gibberish. You woke up sometimes, but I guessed you were delirious."

"I don't remember any of it."

"Maybe that's better."

She looked at him, and her heart broke at his sight. He looked like he hadn't slept in a while, and on top of that, his worry was very evident.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Are you kidding? It's not your fault that you're sick."

"Maybe not. But I can be stubborn. Was I stubborn? Perhaps I would have healed quicker if I wasn't stubborn."

He chuckled, and she looked at him.

"You were stubborn. But you often are, that's nothing new. So am I."

She pulled him close and they slipped into each other's arms.

"Did I say or do anything embarrassing? Anything you think I would regret?"

He hesitated before answering her. That alerted her immediately.

"Nope."

"You hesitated. Jane. What did I say?"

He sighed.

"That… that you want a baby."

"Oh." She remembered telling him that, but she thought it had been a dream. "Well, it's true."

She looked at him to judge his feelings. He was avoiding her eyes. He didn't need to say anything if he didn't want to, but the fact that he was avoiding any contact didn't look to be a good sign.

"I do, too," he whispered after a while. His words startled her, because she hadn't expected him to feel like this. She pulled him close.

"You do?"

"Are you surprised?" His eyes softened. "Why are you crying?"

"It's just… I just… thought you wouldn't be… I don't know… ready for it. The fact that you want us to have a baby, too… it makes me so happy…" She paused for a few seconds, and her heart warmed as she saw him smiling at her. "Why _am_ I crying?"

"You're still sick," he whispered. "Probably tired."

"So are you."

He nodded. She wanted to kiss him, but she didn't want him to get whatever she was having. It might have already transmitted due to him being so close. She settled for brushing his cheek.

"So we'll both sleep. Now you know I'll be better."

It didn't surprise her that he fell asleep before her.

He wanted a baby too. For the first time in forever, she allowed herself to accept the images that prospect brought. Perhaps they could be joined by a tiny Jane one day, the spitting image of its father. But first, she would focus on getting better.

* * *

 **A/N: Right! Obviously they are not going to have a baby in the next chapter, it will take them a few months, don't you worry. But I wanted them to be more and more on the same page, and know what the other wanted in life. So, there you go! Thanks for reading, and enjoy your weekend!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter will get a little more hurt/comfort again, but it's manageable, I think. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 7**_

The next time she awoke, she felt surprisingly much better than before, and she even felt strong enough to get out of bed. While he supported her with an arm around her waist, they both went to get some well-deserved fresh air.

She didn't know it was possible, but her love for him just kept growing with every moment they spent together. At first it had been the bigger images of him that had filled her memories - how his lips moved perfectly against hers, how his arms could wrap around her entire waist and that she would feel safe there. How he would let go of all his guards and masks while they were making love, giving everything of himself, and how he never shied away from showing her exactly how he felt, what she was doing to him. But eventually, when most of the biggest images had been printed and framed, she started looking at the smaller things. Like how he often woke her up with tea, a kiss and an "I love you". How he sometimes brought her shells from the beach, saying that they reminded him of her. How he often blushed when she complimented him, despite him saying, no, claiming that he couldn't be faltered by such displays of affection. How he always dressed nice when they went places, never donning just a casual attire; he explained that he wanted to look nice while being at her side. It was a nice side-effect.

She loved him, and he loved her back. It was definitely visible in all the small things.

"Would you want to go back to the States eventually, Teresa?"

She looked up at him from her comfortable position against his chest. She thought about his question, but she didn't really know what to say.

"I love it here… but… I don't know if I want to stay here forever. Anyway, we almost have to leave because our visa-free period nearly passed."

"Really?"

She nodded.

"You did your research."

"Of course. I don't want us to be deported."

"I don't want to be arrested in the States."

Of course. She had nearly forgotten. It was very likely that he would be arrested as soon as he set one foot on American soil. She didn't want to lose him like that.

"We'll figure something out. Perhaps we can contact the embassy, arrange something with them."

He didn't respond, but she could tell that he was scared of this subject, and that it had taken considerable effort to bring it up.

"You can go back," he whispered. "I don't want to force you to stay here."

"You're not forcing me."

She sighed. "We'll look into possibilities. Maybe we can arrange something with the FBI. Just… try not to focus on it too much, okay? Let's enjoy what time we have left right here."

Judging from his small smile, he thought that was an excellent idea.

~...~

She got on the phone as soon as she had recovered, and she instantly called Kimball Cho - honestly, it was the only phone number she could sort of remember, aside from her own and Jane's.

"Kimball Cho."

"Hey, Cho, it's me."

It remained deadly silent on the other end of the phone. She was imagining his face taking in the realization that after forever, she finally contacted him.

"Okay."

"I'm sorry we didn't call you sooner. We had to keep our heads down, at least for a while."

"You safe now?"

"While we're staying here, yes. But we can't stay forever. Which is where we need your help."

He listened to her explanation. She would be lying if she said that she didn't feel like maybe he wasn't listening to her anymore, but he had all right to. They hadn't spoken in what, months? All because of her, and now she was asking for his help, despite being such a horrible friend.

"But you guys are okay, right?" he asked her when she was done.

"Yes."

"Okay. That's good."

"We, uh… got together."

"Okay."

Did it not bother him at all? Or perhaps he had known all along that this would happen, and was therefore not surprised.

"I'm happy for you," he started, "but it's not a surprise."

"I guess not."

Especially, she knew, because they had left together. Perhaps people had the idea that they had already been together when they had left.

"Look, whether you did or didn't hook up isn't important now. What is important is that we get you home safe, should you want it."

And she did. She loved being here, but she prefered to be able to talk with everybody around her, and not have to think.

"I'll discuss some possibilities with the FBI. We'll keep in touch. And whatever you do, don't contact anybody else just yet."

"Will do. And Kimball? Thanks."

"Hmpf."

She knew he loved her, like she was the sister he'd never had. She loved him too, which was exactly the reason she had called him in the first place.

"You two take care."

He ended the call there. What would she do without Kimball Cho?

~...~

Jane had taken her out to a fancy restaurant one night, only imposing one condition - that she speak Spanish to the crew all night. She had laughed at his request and the twinkle in his eyes had contradicted his serious face.

He had even donned a new suit he had recently purchased, a well-cut grey jacket and trousers, with a black turtleneck beneath. She had smiled at him as her eyes had landed on his outfit - he looked good, he always did.

"I don't have any dresses that will compare to this."

He offered her his hand. "Your smile is enough."

They had an amazing night, like every night was when they spent it together. She complimented him because she couldn't stop herself, and for the first time he accepted her words, didn't try to play it down. He smiled at her attention, his eyes complimenting her without words.

He ordered their dessert, and she took the time to look around her at the people who were also present. When she looked back at Jane, he was smiling at her.

His gaze lowered to the table, and she frowned, wondering what had caught his attention. She found a small, red velvet box.

"What is this?"

"Just open it, Teresa."

"Don't tell me it's anything expensive."

He continued to look at her, and she sighed, opening the box. She was met by an elegant silver ring, a big diamond sitting on top. She knew instantly what it was, of course.

"You didn't have to do that."

"I did, though." He lifted her hand and slipped the ring on her finger, and she looked at it, admiring the beauty of it, so simple yet so stunningly beautiful.

"I guess I just want you to have something to remember me by, when I'm not around."

"That's so nice, Patrick," she whispered, looking into his eyes instead. His had gotten as teary-eyed as hers. "It's so beautiful."

She leaned over the table to kiss him, even if she knew that her clothes could very well be hanging in their ice cream. She felt his hands against her body, and quickly realized that he was keeping her dress from getting stained.

"It's an engagement ring," he stated. "I don't want you to think it's anything less."

She shook her head. "I know what it is. Thank you."

They basked in this love they had found, even if it was a long time ago, every day renewed its significance. She was looking at the ring while she knew he was admiring her.

"No one has ever given me such an expensive gift before," she whispered.

"Who's saying it was expensive?" he teased her. She looked up at him.

"Are you saying you gave me a plastic ring?"

"No. Of course not. It's very real, and it's worth... a lot. Almost as much as you're worth to me."

She rolled her eyes and she could hear him laugh. He had told her often that he felt like he was the luckiest person walking the surface of the earth, but she had to disagree - the luckiest was her.

~...~

She called Cho after a few days, and normally he would cut right to the chase - yet now, he made absolutely certain that she was alone, so that nobody could eavesdrop.

"You will return first. I'll be awaiting you to make sure the FBI doesn't bail on their promise."

"Which is?"

"To grant you safe passage."

"I aided a fugitive, though."

"They know. But they are going to pretend that Jane forced you to come with him."

"He didn't."

"I know. But it's the only way to get you back."

She got an instant headache. She wanted to defend her actions because she didn't want to be considered a damsel in distress, but she also wanted them both to be safe - and home.

"What about Jane?"

"We can start negotiations when you're here."

"I have to leave him behind?"

It felt like a dagger stabbed into her chest and them turning the blade. What if this plan went wrong, and she would never see him again? She wouldn't know how to carry on living.

"It's part of the plan."

"How sure are you that it will work out?"

She wanted him to say that it was guaranteed to work, but she knew he couldn't lie.

"I'm not. But at this point, it's the only thing we can do."

"Alright. I'll run it by Jane."

"Don't. He'll only disapprove. You have to do this alone, for the moment."

Her heart broke. She had to leave him, just like that, without telling him any reason why? She would break him. Even if he had given her the option himself to leave with his open ticket, she knew it wouldn't sit well with him if she had in fact left.

"I'm sorry. It's the only way."

"I understand." It was not going to be easy, though.

~...~

He had settled in bed with a cup of tea that night, and she stood in the doorway, looking at him. He was reading a book, she didn't really know what book it was but it interested him, so it must be good. It interested him so much that he didn't even notice her standing there.

She had decided she had to treat this like pulling off a bandaid - you have to do it all at once, or else it might hurt even worse. So she had to leave him soon, had to return home. Who knew? Maybe he would be able to get back soon, too?

She climbed onto the bed when he had finished his tea, settling into his lap. He smiled and lowered his book, looking at her. She took the book from him and put it somewhere behind her. His hands now empty, he put them on her hips. She brushed his cheeks, and kissed his lips eventually, holding on to this memory, this feeling. She didn't know how long she would have to do without him.

"You're leaving, aren't you?"

He didn't even slightly pull away from her, just left his hands on her hips, his eyes looking into her soul. She felt ashamed, but she couldn't disclose her plans.

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. I understand. It's necessary for us to build our future."

"It is?"

"Would you like to get married here? Have a baby, raise it on these grounds…"

She really didn't know. What could a future in this country mean for them? What would it look like? She knew the paperwork would be a pain, so they had to be certain if they were going to stay here.

"I want to try and regain our place in society back home first… I would prefer to live there."

He nodded.

"When are you leaving?"

"The day after tomorrow."

She saw her answer startled him a little, and he slowly lifted his hands up her body.

"Alright. Then we have to make the best out of the time we have left."

He pulled her shirt over her head, and she instantly linked their lips, pushing closer to him. He knew she was going to leave him, but he didn't stop her. Perhaps he knew that if he asked her to stay, she would. She was quite predictable like that.

"I'm sorry I'll leave you," she breathed when he kissed the swell of one of her breasts. "It's not forever."

He nodded. He lifted her left hand and kissed the ring he had put there, only a few days before. "I know that we are forever. I love you, Teresa. I know that you're not entirely happy here, not as happy as you can and should be. So please, if you want to go home, for whatever reason, please do it."

"I will call you as soon as it's safe. I promise."

He didn't respond and merely kissed her, enveloping her in his arms completely, until everything she could see and feel was him, like it should be.

She didn't want to leave him. It hurt so much. She didn't even know if she would be able to get him away from here. Even then, if he would have to stay here, she didn't know if she would be able to get back. The FBI had been nothing but unhelpful so far.

"I will miss you," she whispered against his lips. He closed his eyes and then buried his face against her neck. He didn't say anything and she guessed he didn't have any words to say.

* * *

 **A/N: There you go! Reviews are very nice to read, so I hope you'll drop me some!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay, so this is where Pike tries to mess with Jane and Lisbon. Don't get me wrong, I love Pike, but for some reason I always portray him as a bad guy in my stories. Anyway, without further ado, here's the next chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 8**_

She met with Marcus Pike the following day, and she knew he could see instantly that she meant business. This wasn't just a 'walk-in-the-park' request, like it had been since they had met.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm leaving." She didn't leave any time for him to register those words. She cut straight to the most important part. "I want you to look after Jane, while I'm gone."

"What?"

"I know he won't want this, but… he's still in therapy, and I… I'm just afraid that he might… do something, if I'm not there." She added in a lot more words to explain her reasons, something about her trusting Jane but also knowing who he was, but Marcus stopped her mid sentence.

"Stop. Okay. I'll do it. I won't come close, though. I don't want to get between the two of you."

She sighed in relief. "Thank you so much."

She knew Jane would be in good hands while she was gone.

~...~

She could hardly be close to Jane when he dropped her off at the airport the next day. She was so afraid that she wouldn't be able to let him go otherwise.

Eventually, she did have to kiss him, hug him, anything to have him as an imprint on her, so it was impossible to forget him.

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much. Just say the word and I'll stay."

"I love you too. But I can't allow you to stay. We both know we need this for us."

"I promise I will come back for you."

He nodded and kissed her lips. He got a small smile on his lips and she was curious to find out the reason. He lowered his hand and covered her belly with it.

"Maybe when we're reunited, we can start trying for this."

"This being?" she asked him, even if she knew what he meant - or thought she did anyway.

"A baby. Or… is that too soon?"

"Is it really what you want?"

"I would want nothing else. Well… aside from marrying you, of course."

She felt herself get a little emotional, and it was all so unexpected. But she knew his words made it possible for her to leave him, knowing he didn't hate her for doing so, and that he still looked at their future, wanting to take this next step with her.

"I love you," she whispered. "I will miss you."

"Don't think about it. We'll be back together before you know it."

She nodded. She hoped she could believe his confidence.

~...~

Cho was the first person she saw when she arrived at the airport, but honestly she didn't want to talk to anybody. The entire flight she had been plagued by worry about Jane, that he wouldn't be okay or that he would think she didn't love him anymore. And she already missed him, so much, having been conditioned to be around him, always seeing his beautiful smile when she needed it. She missed him.

"How are you?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Fair enough."

They discussed the plan with the rest of the team, her being met with excited greetings from her friends, but all she could do was look at the ring on her left finger, and wonder how he was doing, like she had so often since she had left. She couldn't do this. She wanted to see him again.

They made sure nobody else could listen in on their conversation, as well as that nobody could walk in.

"I think it's safe to say that all of us know that Jane killed Red John. It's important that this stays between us for now. As long as we don't know what the FBI's intentions are, we should assume the worst. Which is that they want to arrest him and put him in jail… probably for a long time." Lisbon paused. She really couldn't survive if he would be locked away. She couldn't live knowing that she wasn't able to hug him properly.

"We need to focus on getting him here safely, without the FBI arresting him instantly. If that isn't possible… then we need to get them to settle for the lowest sentence. But let's not focus on that point yet."

She looked at Cho and he nodded. He took over, and her thoughts went instinctively back to Jane, no matter how idiotic she knew she was being. There was more to life than Patrick Jane.

Yet he was so beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. His kisses always lit a fire within her, making her weak in the knees. She knew she was pathetic to feel like this, to not be able to function as a human being without him around, but she had had to live without him for so many years, she didn't make any deals anymore. She just had to have him close.

"So what is the plan so far?" Van Pelt asked.

"Nothing is sure up to this point. Which is why we contacted you," Cho responded.

"We're not Jane, though. We can't come up with brilliant plans like his."

Van Pelt looked at Lisbon, and the latter woman noticed that even though she was listening to the conversation, she wasn't really focusing.

"Did Jane give you any inspiration?"

Lisbon shook her head. They had been busy with other things - like making love until neither of them could move a muscle. Of course, she wasn't going to tell her friends that particular detail.

"He's… not quite in a good place… mentally."

She hoped that their nods indicated their understanding. So instead of discussing his feelings about the situation, which no doubt was no secret to either of them, they focused on their plan to get him to safety.

~...~

She wanted to call him, she really did. The bed she was in was way too big for her alone, and it bothered her. Still, she knew she couldn't call him, would put a target on his back that way. Suddenly, she realized why Jane had acted the way he had during their acquaintance.

Instinctively, her gaze went back to the ring on her finger. He was right - it really was a memory of him. It showed the kind of future they could - _would_ \- have together. It showed hope and love, something she hadn't experienced much, especially from his side, before they had gotten together. Looking at this ring, images of him flashed before her eyes, everything she remembered of him, and everything that could ever come.

She would hold on. She had no choice. If she wanted to see him again, and be able to hug him and kiss him without anyone preventing that, she had to pull through. She couldn't call him.

So she turned away with her back facing the empty space beside her.

~...~

She met with Dennis Abbott the next day, but she couldn't be nice to him. She tried, but he was the reason that Jane was so far away and couldn't come back.

"Agent Lisbon, I'm glad to meet you again."

She refused to respond, just stared at him.

"To be fair, it's not my fault that he is in this situation."

Whatever. She couldn't be bothered.

"Let's just cut right to the chase. I have taken a great interest in what you have been doing down in Venezuela."

"Which is?"

"Aiding a fugitive."

"He was hardly a fugitive."

"He killed somebody, agent Lisbon."

"It was self-defense."

He crossed his arms. "Then I would like to hear that from him."

Tough luck, because she knew he wouldn't want to talk to Dennis Abbott until all the paperwork was settled and he was safe to come back.

"Look, I won't try to bargain with you, because I know that it won't work," Lisbon started, "but we have all killed somebody every once in a while, in our line of duty. I know Jane doesn't have the same rank as us, but he worked on this case, too."

"But this was a personal vendetta. He has killed more people thinking they were Red John. How does he even know that it was Red John to begin with?"

"His gut feeling."

That got him. She knew the feeling. She hadn't wanted to admit to Jane's hunches either, but they had rarely turned out to be wrong. Then again, she trusted him. She was basically the only one.

"His… gut feeling?"

"Exactly. You're investigating this case and you don't even know about what he does?"

He really didn't know, did he? That surprised her most of all - Red John and Patrick Jane had had their existence entwined from the moment Angela and Charlotte had been killed. Therefore, she had always guessed that whenever someone would pick up Red John's case file, they would be met by Jane's smug smile on the first page.

Maybe she could take advantage of this. She could use Jane's skills as leverage to lift the charges - even if she knew that Jane wouldn't like this, it was their only option.

"He could show you what he can do. But it comes at a price."

"Which is?"

"His freedom."

He sighed and averted his eyes. "You only came here to bargain, didn't you?"

"And I'm not leaving until he can come home safely."

"I understand." He paused for a while. "I want you to know I'm on your side. I know why he did it. But I can't allow this specific crime to go unpunished. How could I explain this to the bureau?"

She shrugged. That was his problem. She would just focus on getting Jane home.

~...~

The FBI was still pretty damn unhelpful, but Dennis Abbott understood her, at least. She had always viewed him as a difficult man, but then again she had never been able to cold read people like Patrick Jane could.

She didn't know yet if she could trust him, but she was really trying now. Maybe Jane would have been proud of her.

She was proud of him. He had given her everything of him, even if they both knew it was very difficult for him. He had trusted her with everything, and she could only admire him for that. After a history of closing doors, he had opened one.

She didn't allow herself to get used to the empty bed, but after a few days, she could live with it. Perhaps it had been the fact that Abbott had turned so quickly after having spoken to her, that gave her the extra bit of confidence to carry on.

She called Jane eventually, when she was almost certain that Abbott would grant Jane safe passage, too. She was feeling giddy with excitement with the prospect of talking to him, hearing his beautiful voice.

She guessed she felt instantly that something was off. After the small talk, the 'I love you' and 'I love you, too', he cut right to the chase.

"You asked Pike to watch me?" he asked her. She almost ended the phone call right there, but she had to explain her reasoning.

"I'm sorry, Patrick. But… I wanted someone to keep an eye on you, considering I wouldn't be able to do it. And I know that it's unethical, and I know that you might be angry, but… I love you, Patrick. I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"Pike has told me otherwise."

She frowned now. She had told Jane exactly what she had asked of Pike. What was he talking about?

"He says you kissed on the beach. That you ran away to find a way to be with him."

"He said… _what_?" The entire earth seemed to swallow her whole - what had she done? She had trusted Marcus Pike, with Jane's life even, and he had abused it like that? She felt like a dagger was stabbed inside her chest, and the instant realization hit that Jane had no way to prove whether this was true or false.

"I'm sorry I trusted him," she whispered. "Nothing happened, I promise. Maybe you won't believe me… but I swear… I swear on my mother's grave, that I did not kiss him. I didn't even touch him, I promise. I swear... "

Was she crying? She was so worried she had lost him already because of her stupid naivety, her ability to trust anyone and anything, only to be proven wrong most of the times, which hurt her on every single occasion. Why was she like this?

"I trust you, Teresa. I promise. I just… don't know why you asked him to look after me. Do you think… that I can't manage alone?"

"No! No, that's not it. I just… I've seen the worst side of you, back there. And… and I wanted someone… to be able to stop you, from doing anything rash. I don't know… I think I knew you wouldn't do anything stupid, but… I wanted to be able to sleep at night. I want to come back to you soon, Patrick. I'm sorry… if that makes you feel like I don't trust you."

He was silent on the other end, and she felt tears streaming down her face now. Stupid, stupid Teresa Lisbon. You ruined the one good thing in your life.

"I love you, Patrick Jane, so much… you have no idea how much." She took in a deep, shuddering breath. She was so scared to lose him, and that feeling alone made her mouth open and let endless words escape her mind. "Listen, Patrick… I love you. I know I might be a disappointment sometimes, that my life lived without much love has made me inexperienced from the whole idea. I rarely think before I act, I am an actual mess, sitting here, crying my eyes out. But in a lifetime full of stupid decisions, wrong turns and spectacular screw-ups, you're the first thing that's felt right. And I wake up at 3 am and I will look at you, peacefully asleep next to me, and the world feels less lonely. I just… really wanted you to know, if you didn't already at this point… that you make everything better. You made me better, make my days better, hell, even my future is better, with you in it. My life is the best it could ever be, because of you."

She paused for a while, and she had heard him cry so many times while they were in Venezuela, that it was unmistakable to her that he was crying now, too. Perhaps he tried to cover it up, play all cool and coy, but she knew him like she knew nobody else.

"I shouldn't have trusted him. Should never have let him into my life… our lives. But… I can't be helped. I trust people, that's what I do… but please, trust me from the bottom of your heart, when I say that I have never, ever looked at him the way I look at you. I have never admired him, like I do you. You are the most beautiful human being I have ever laid my eyes on, both inside and outside."

"Teresa," he sobbed. "Please stop."

She shut up abruptly, afraid she had said something wrong. No, please don't tell me that this is how it's going to end. She had put her trust in some random guy she hardly knew, and now she had lost the one good thing in her life, her only reason for breathing, the sole reason for her existence. She fought the urge to cry out in pain. How could she be so stupid?

She heard him cry softly on the other side, and that sound made her sadness waver, tear after tear escaping her eyes.

"I'm sorry that people keep hurting you," he whispered. She could hear there were still traces of his tears in his voice. "I'm sorry the universe is cruel to you like that. I trust you, with everything I own, and everything I don't own. I know how much you love me, how it spreads from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. I know how much I love you, and how it fills me up until I'm overflowing. I understand now why you asked this of him - I'm scared to lose you, too, so I understand. And if you say that what he's saying is false… I believe you. I promise. I just… you can't blame me for worrying."

She shook her head. "Of course not. I'm sorry that people hurting me are hurting you as a result."

"If that's the price I have to pay by marrying you… I'll gladly suffer with you."

She was silent for a while, amazed at his reaction, she had allowed him to be angry, to yell at her, but in the end she felt he knew she would never, ever cheat on him. She had searched for years to find someone like him, and she would never let him go again.

"I'm sorry I scared you," he whispered. "I felt like you deserved to defend yourself. I wanted to hear your truth."

"Thank you," she replied, her voice equally as soft as his, if not softer. He was really the best person she had ever met. He always claimed that she could do better, that she was supposed to be with somebody who could take care of her, who would love her despite herself. And he was right - but it was him. He cared for her, and it was visible in everything he did. She saw that he had devoted his life to her.

"I was angrier at him for hurting you the way he had. I knew he was lying, but… a tiny voice in my head said that he could be telling the truth, too. But in the end, he lied to me, and to you. I won't allow him to hurt you ever again."

Her heart blossomed until it almost burst out of her chest. She had always said that she didn't need to be saved, didn't need to be protected, but his protective words cast a spell on her, making her fall in love with him even more. She loved it when he protected her. It showed her how much he loved her.

"I miss you," he whispered eventually. She heard that he was sincere. Their previous conversation was not forgotten, she knew, but they could discuss it another time.

"I miss you, too."

"How's the plan coming along?"

"I'll explain when I get back." She smiled, even though she knew he wouldn't be able to see it from his side of the phone. "I know you would want to get too involved anyway. I know you. Just enjoy your time without me minding your business. I'll be back soon enough."

"I can't wait. Honestly, I can't. When's the next plane leave to DC?"

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. That was her Patrick Jane, thankfully. She knew that the Jane during this conversation was also still him, but if she could pick, she would prefer his happy self.

"I don't want to sleep without you by my side," she whispered, feeling herself get sad again. She looked at the empty bed once more, so big, so empty. She thought of all the things they could do if he were here, but that thought didn't make her feel any better.

She heard him brooding, then he started talking again.

"Put me on speaker phone."

"Why?"

"Just do it. I'll do it too, here."

She did what he told her, and when he asked her to put the phone on the pillow beside her, she sighed wistfully. Just what she'd thought - he cared about her.

He talked to her about his day so far, how he had taken a dive in the ocean, and he would remember their times there with her. Eventually, she felt her eyelids get heavy, and the last thing she heard from him was him telling her that he loved her.

* * *

 **A/N: A lot of hurt/comfort, but I felt that it was necessary, I don't know why. I hope you liked it! Have a nice day!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you so much for your kind words! Here's the next chapter! Also, taking some creative liberty when it comes to Jane's deal. Hope you'll understand!  
**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 _ **'The Door to Peace'**_

 _ **Chapter 9**_

She met with Van Pelt individually, as they had missed talking to each other. Sure, Lisbon had never been such a blabbermouth like so many other women were, but she liked talking to this specific woman, the closest friend she had ever had. Well, beside Jane, maybe.

"So… you and Jane, huh?"

"I guess so. Did Cho tell you?"

"Nope. You did. I've never seen you this happy… and I couldn't have possibly missed that enormous ring, could I?"

Van Pelt was right - Jane had really gone too far with this ring.

"It's gorgeous, though." Van Pelt looked at her, studying her, and Lisbon felt a little uncomfortable to be under such an intense stare, but she knew her friend was figuring out whether she was really okay.

"I'm happy, Grace," Lisbon said gently, seemingly catching the woman off guard. Both of them smiled. "I'm so happy."

"You deserve it, Teresa Lisbon. You are the sweetest person I have ever known. He's good for you, I can tell. Maybe… you're the best for each other. How is he, by the way?"

"He's in therapy there, to be able to deal with everything has happened, not just recently but… you know… over the past ten, fifteen years... but aside from his therapy, no, because of his therapy, he's doing quite good. Really good."

Van Pelt nodded and smiled. "I'm so glad for you two. I never would have guessed that you would get together… well, I've seen some hints, but I think not even you picked up on them. You both have been… quite private and personal, in the past. You probably still are, I don't know. But I hope that you can find more happiness now, with him. I know you have loved him for a while."

Don't even get me started, Lisbon thought. It hurt too much, so this was a topic she would gladly avoid. She shrugged to deviate Van Pelt from the subject.

"And how has he been so far, for you?"

"He's the sweetest. I know it might be hard to imagine, but he's so thoughtful."

Van Pelt shook her head. "I have seen him be nice sometimes. Sure, he's rude most of the time, but I can see it in him. I can see why you like him."

And they continued talking like this, Van Pelt glowing about her Rigsby, and Lisbon about her Jane.

~...~

She had appointments with the FBI every day, trying to bargain about a deal. Jane would argue that if society wanted him to serve time, he would do it, but she didn't want that for neither of them. She wanted to love him, be able to hug him, like she had reminded herself time and time again since coming back. It worked like a mantra, grounding her, reminding her why she was here.

Eventually, the FBI agreed with her plea, and they settled for a six week imprisonment and a clear note of this in his records, as well as a mandatory work period of two years with the bureau. If for whatever reason he would terminate the contract himself, he would have to go straight to jail to continue the remaining time.

She thought it strange that they allowed him to walk free like that. They knew that he had killed McAllister, she guessed it wasn't really a secret to the FBI, but Cho, having secured a job for himself within the organization only weeks after the downfall of the CBI, had explained their motives to her.

"They know his story. The entire state does. Of course, it is not okay that he killed McAllister, but the FBI feels that the public would understand a light punishment. They know Jane's not dangerous. The people who know about the case want him to pick up his life again." He looked down at her left hand, where her engagement ring was shining away. "I think they will be happy to hear that he moved on. Anyway, the case is not weak but there are a lot of moral standards that come into play. The FBI believes that a jury would acquit him, even if the evidence is piled up feet high. It would be a waste of time."

She didn't even want to run the plan by Jane. This was the best they could get, and she would take it with both hands. Even if she knew that she would hardly be able to survive him being in jail.

She went back to tell him the good news, and he was awaiting her at the airport, standing all the way at the front of the crowd, a bright smile on his lips.

She ran to him and hugged him tight, while he kissed the side of her face. They stood like that for a while, and she felt all the past days fall off her, the worry about his safety and the empty bed she'd had to sleep in.

When they were sort of finished, he took her bag from her and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Let's go home. You can tell me what you decided on the way back."

She nodded. She made him bow his head so she could kiss him again.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"Have you even slept?"

"Nope."

She sighed and looked at him like a mother would at her children who had misbehaved. But it didn't matter - she hadn't slept well either during her absence, so she didn't have the right to judge him.

She discussed the plan with him when they drove back, in their rented car for they needed transportation but it would be a waste to purchase one. She saw his expression get solemn, and she allowed for some time to let the information sink in.

"I know it's not the most favorable plan, but they were very insistent on keeping you in prison for a long time. I wanted to avoid that. I know that working there might still be a prison… but at least we can be together."

He nodded. He remained quiet for a while and all that time, she was looking at him. He didn't continue until he had parked the car in front of their place.

"You are the most important thing to me. I want you to know that. So the fact that I don't have to go to jail for a long time… I'm relieved. Thank you for arranging this. I think I would have been too emotional, too scared to lose you."

"I was emotional, too."

He frowned, but she saw a glint of tease in his eyes. "Really? The heavily armed, fierce and tough Teresa Lisbon was emotional, with the FBI?"

She rolled her eyes. "I can get emotional. I'm not a robot."

"I know you can. And you shouldn't be. I'm very glad you love me so much."

He put her bag down just around the corner after their front door, and instantly wrapped his arms around her and pushed her against the nearest wall. Before he could say something, she stopped him.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about what you said before I left. Are you sure you want to start trying?"

"Hundred percent. But… only if you want it, too, of course."

"I already stopped taking my pill a few days ago. I just wanted to make sure that you want this." She pulled him close until she couldn't feel anything but him, and he smiled at her, so brightly, like he always did for her, because of her.

It was different this time, to make love and to know that they could be making a baby now. He stopped to look at her from time to time, his eyes full of love, and she held on to him tightly, like he would disappear if she let go.

It always felt like magic, but this time even more.

She lay in his arms afterwards, and she looked up at him sometimes, even if it was visible that he was fighting sleep - after all, he hadn't slept in a while, if she could believe his words. She didn't want to keep him awake, but he seemed to be distracted, too.

She wondered what a child of them could look like. Perhaps her hair color but the hair's temperament would be of their father - stubborn, full of curls, unable to be tamed. And perhaps they would get their father's eyes, clear green like the sea, countless of stories left untold. Bottom line: she wanted their children to look like him.

She would stop thinking like that for now. After all, they didn't even know if they could still conceive - they were both well in their forties.

She wouldn't focus on that now. She would focus on the fact that they had started trying for a baby - and that was the most important thing to her.

~...~

She had managed to get two weeks out of her negotiations with Abbott, two weeks to return to the states or otherwise, the FBI would come and get them. She and Jane took their time to say goodbye to the area, the place where they had given in to their love, where they had gotten together, where he had proposed to her. She would be lying if she said she wasn't emotional.

They made love in the ocean one final time, knowing they wouldn't get the time to do this back home. Even if they would take some time off, they would never be able to enjoy it as much as they did now.

She saw Marcus Pike again a few days before they left. He smiled at her, that charming smile he always used to address her with.

"Hello there, Teresa."

She felt anger bubbling up at the bottom of her stomach, wanting to out itself, wanting to wrap her hands around his neck and only stop when he wasn't breathing anymore. But she couldn't do that. Strangling was what had gotten her and Jane in this situation in the first place, so another homicide would not do them well.

He noticed quickly something was off.

"What's wrong?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"I swear I don't know what you're talking about."

She actually pushed him away, but composed herself quickly. Don't, Lisbon, he's not worth it.

"You lied to me. You lied to Jane. I trusted you and you abused my trust. I can't forgive you for that."

"And neither should you."

"So why did you do it?"

"I guess I wanted to test you."

" _Test_ me? Are you insane?"

He shook his head and looked away.

"Can you blame a man for trying?"

"Yes, I can. You knew from the start that I was taken. I was never yours to experiment with. I thought that we could be friends, but apparently all this time you thought we could be more than that. I love Jane, I will always love him. I have never lied to you about that."

"No, I guess you haven't. But I think you deserve more than him."

"That was never up to you to decide. Goodbye, Marcus."

He protested, but she rounded the corner.

"I could be so much more to you, Teresa Lisbon! I promise!"

She was done with people hurting her, so she would step away from those who had nothing but bad intentions. Perhaps Pike was not a bad person, just misunderstood. But she could never forgive him for what he'd done.

Marcus Pike would love her, just to satisfy himself. Patrick Jane loved her, to satisfy _her_. He didn't ask her to smile for him - he would just tell her how much he loved her, and her smile would come automatically.

A hand wrapped around her arm, and she yelled her surprise out loud, before realizing it was Marcus Pike, again.

"Okay, wait."

She turned away from him, not wanting to look him in the eye. She didn't trust him, not anymore.

"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything, I know that. But I know now that what I did was wrong. And I won't do it again. Yet I know you won't allow me to be around you anymore, which is why I needed to say this…"

Her heart was hurting, she had learned that this man couldn't be trusted, not even for a second, but she guessed, considering she was leaving, she could give him a few seconds more. She would never be seeing him again.

"I wish you all the best with your Patrick. And I mean that. I know you're very happy with him. It took me a while to see it, but it's obvious to me now. And… I wish you the best of luck, the rest of your beautiful life. I know good things are in store for you. And… I'll live with the results of my crime for the rest of my life, but don't you ever think about me. I'm not worth it. Uh… that's it. Goodbye, Teresa."

With that, he turned and left. She wouldn't think of him anymore, she knew, but the fact that he had apologized for what he'd done, and told her these words, cleared her mind a little. She knew there had been a little hint of trustworthiness in him.

~...~

She and Jane went back to the states a couple of days later, and she hoped that the FBI stuck to their agreement of not arresting him on the spot. She had asked for one evening to get settled back in, and Jane had wanted to get dinner with the rest of the team, to thank them for their trust and the fact that they had helped Lisbon with the bargaining between her and Abbott.

The team was happy to see him - at least, they showed it in their own way. Van Pelt had hugged him close, like she was reunited with her long lost brother, which probably wasn't far from the truth. Rigsby shook his hand enthusiastically like the big fool he was, and Cho just simply shook his hand, no smile, just a nod.

Jane treated all of them to a fancy dinner, and he made it feel like his last meal, as though he would never see them again. He held her hand often under the table, as though their love was a secret, as though nobody knew of it. She had told Cho, Van Pelt had guessed all by herself and she had probably told Rigsby, too. All of them knew. Then again, it did feel funny, romantic maybe, that he stole these small moments from her without disturbing the conversations they were having at the table with their friends.

After dinner, they all went their separate ways, and Jane and Lisbon went to her apartment, which he had started paying for, for they needed a place to return to, and he thought it was unfair to make her pay for it.

They christened her bed, their last night before he would be arrested, but all the exertion made her feel a bit odd. Her head was light, and she wondered if she had had enough to drink, but she knew she had - she was taking good care of herself, or rather, her lover did.

He noticed, of course. He stopped and looked at her critically.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm… a bit feint. I'm sure it's the jetlag."

"We're only one hour behind. It can't be a jetlag."

"Perhaps it's stress. I will see if it will stay, then I'll go to the doctor."

He nodded and kissed her cheek. "Do you want to continue?"

"Is that even a question? What a stupid question."

He chuckled.

"Just tell me when you need a break."

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck. She knew he really wouldn't stop without her telling him so.

* * *

 **A/N: On the show, Jane didn't have to serve time either, not full-on, only custody. I felt like it was unrealistic to let him walk without a prison sentence, but a two-year sentence would also be too harsh, especially on our new lovers. So this was the best I could for both of them! Enjoy your day!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So this is the final chapter! I forgot to mention it before but yeah. Can't believe that with this chapter, the entire story is out there. I hope you like it! Also, once again taking some artistic licence here and there. Hope you don't mind!**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

 ** _'The Door to Peace'_**

 ** _Chapter 10_**

They went to the bureau the next day, and she could tell that he was nervous, even if it wasn't his first time in prison, unfortunately. This time she knew, however, that he knew he couldn't get around it. This was for real, and even though it wasn't that long, he couldn't bat his pretty lashes at them for a better treatment.

Eventually, they had to say their goodbyes.

"Hey. Everything will be alright, okay? You will be out of this mess sooner than you think, and we can go back to our normal little life then."

"I can't wait. Just promise me you will tell me when that faintness endures. I want to know."

She nodded. "I will keep you updated."

And once again, she had to leave him. She couldn't wait until she could spend everyday with him, without any disruptions, just waking up next to him every morning, and kissing him goodnight every evening.

She went to the doctor's office nearly immediately after their trip to the bureau, because even without them making love, she felt odd and not quite herself. It was not like the previous time she had gotten ill, which had been nothing more than a stomach bug. Perhaps this was something more serious.

The lady looked at her cautiously, and suddenly, Lisbon started to worry. She wouldn't accept it if this was the end. She and Jane had only just started their lives together.

"Can I congratulate you, Ms. Lisbon?"

"With what?"

"You're pregnant."

She actually laughed out loud, for she couldn't believe this, she had only just stopped her pill, and she was old for having a baby, and quite frankly, so was he. It would have made more sense if it would take forever for them to conceive, that they would maybe even have to enter a medical treatment to help things along. So to her, the most logical way to answer was exactly how she replied.

"I'm not pregnant."

The woman frowned. "You are, though. Do you… want information on… abortions?"

"No. I just… need some time to let this sink in. We've only just been trying. I hadn't expected it to happen so soon."

The woman started smiling a little. Lisbon was glad - she didn't want to startle her.

"Well, I always look at it like this: those who really deserve it get a gift like this."

They must have been really deserving then.

"Can you tell me anything else about the baby?"

"It's too early for that. We can say more at around the tenth week."

Lisbon was provided with a bunch of informative articles discussing the kind of diet she had to adapt to now, and what kind of symptoms to expect.

That evening, the bed felt even bigger with the knowledge that she was pregnant with their child - she should be celebrating this with him, but there was no chance in hell that Abbott would allow Jane to leave early. The image of the bureau would be seriously damaged should that happen.

She remembered her promise to him - she would tell him the outcome of a possible doctor's appointment, and she couldn't possibly break a promise. She never had and never would.

But she did fear that he might misbehave to get out, that he would fuss and make a scene, and it might influence his chances of being let go.

Yet still, she couldn't keep this from him. They were in this together, him and her. It was their baby. So she would have to find a way of telling him this, but keep him from doing anything stupid.

~...~

She stood in front of a mirror a few moments before she would enter the visitor's room, and she couldn't help but judge her belly, even if she couldn't see anything, and she knew because she had checked that morning. Still, she wanted to check to make sure. Soon enough, there would be no way around it.

She sat down in front of him, and she knew he could tell that there was something different about her. He frowned and looked at her face. Surely he couldn't see this, could he?

"I'm going to tell you something, but you need to promise me that this will not impact your behavior here."

"What is it?"

She couldn't keep it from him anymore. Everything spilled out of her.

"I'm pregnant. Oh Jane, I'm pregnant."

She knew it were the hormones, but out of nowhere she started crying, the happiness she was feeling outing itself like that, apparently.

She felt his hands on her arms, then on her cheeks, cupping them. She looked at him. He was kneeling in front of her.

"You are?"

She nodded at him. She could tell he was just as confused as she had been when she had just found out, just as surprised, but it was soon followed by tears. He let out a small sigh, and she knew it was the only reaction that was possible for him at that time.

Through her tears, she could still utter the words she had practiced before coming here, because she had had a feeling she would get emotional.

"Please promise me you'll behave. Behave, and we'll be back together in six weeks. We'll still have plenty of time to celebrate this."

He nodded. "I love you, Teresa. I promise I'll be good."

She knew he would keep his promise, too.

~...~

She had done some calculating, and could only place the moment that their baby was conceived around the night she had come back to Venezuela. She loved the idea that her God didn't want them to wait that long, and had gifted them a baby so quickly.

Jane had been especially good, proving he could behave, something she had seen already but hadn't been proven often. He had been so proud that she was pregnant that he had told everyone around him the good news. Eventually, Abbott had heard the news, too.

He had called her into his office about a week into Jane's imprisonment, and had asked her if the news was true.

"Yes, it's true."

"Did you plan this on purpose so I would feel bad for Jane and let him go?"

"Of course not. We have a life too, and I don't want all of this to put that on hold."

"Okay. I understand."

He pretended to not be faltered by this, but she could tell that he wanted to give in. She was reminded of Cho's words a while ago - the public would undoubtedly want Jane to get a shot at being happy, and she felt that this could be a reason for Abbott's doubts. Only a day later, Jane was released, under the condition that he would stay with the bureau for the remaining time of his imprisonment and the two years that were noted down already, provided he didn't break any rules. Which was ironic, because the bureau was breaking countless of rules to keep him on a leash.

They spent all their time celebrating her pregnancy, and he inspected every inch of her body, hoping to find a change in her body, indicating the growing of new life. He claimed he found all of them, but she didn't believe him.

"Your breasts are slightly fuller," he told her. "I know because they used to sit perfectly in your bras, but they're overflowing a little. You feel different, too… when we make love. I don't know how to explain it. Your appetite has changed, you used to love these cookies I stole from the restaurant around the corner back in Caracas, but you pull a face at them now. And you're glowing. You're positively glowing. You have always looked beautiful to me, and it's only amplified now."

"Gosh, you can be so poetic."

"Guess that's what my love for you does to me."

She smiled and kissed him. "I'm so honored to be carrying your child."

"Hey. It's our child."

"I know… but you put our baby in me."

She knew he was blushing, even if it was really too dark for her to see. She put her hand on his cheek and fair enough, the skin was warm.

"I can't wait to meet them," he whispered. "I want to know what they look like, I want to see all the little fingers and toes."

They still had to wait. But she hoped that everything would go quickly without much strife.

~...~

He behaved like an angel, which was strange for everybody including Lisbon. Perhaps he knew that he couldn't blow this. If he did, he would have to miss out on her pregnancy and birth, the first few weeks of their baby's life. As a result of his revelation, he even got their new boss Dennis Abbott his standard coffee as though he was his PA.

He even got Lisbon a spot in the unit. Every other time, she would have scolded him for interfering in her life, but their lives were so entwined now, it didn't really matter anymore. And she liked the change of environment, because being stuck in their apartment was not a life she could live.

The first time she had stepped into the building, a sense of relief had washed over her. Sure, it wasn't the CBI, and she was starting all the way at the bottom, from scratch basically, she liked being busy and solving cases. She didn't even mind to be doing mostly desk work due to her pregnancy.

Even though Jane was an angel, he still managed to get what he wanted, yet now in a less menacing voice, with more compassion. He even said 'please' and 'thank you', which was a whole new world for Lisbon. He had nicely asked for a 'thinking couch' behind Lisbon's desk, and Abbott had refused it at the time, but when he noticed Jane didn't do well sitting behind a desk all day, he granted the wish anyway. So now, she was accompanied by her favorite person often, but they didn't always talk.

That was something they had both agreed to - they lived and worked together now, so they didn't need to talk all that time. In any case, they didn't need words to communicate - if she wanted some tea, he would know way in advance, so by the time she would ask him for it, he would have it ready.

Sometimes late at night, when almost everybody had left the office, they would sit on his couch and have some tea together, discussing their day at work. He knew he wouldn't be able to tear her away from her job if she felt there were still things left to do, so he accommodated in her wishes, getting her some tea or a snack.

He always waited patiently until she deemed her work to be finished for the day, and he always drove them home. If someone had told her months ago that she would step into a car with Patrick Jane and not be worried about his driving, she would have laughed. But he had improved greatly, mainly for her safety but also for their baby's. And really, she was just too sleepy to drive, this baby taking all of her energy, but it was totally okay, and definitely worth it in the long run.

She woke a little later when Jane put her to bed, and she hadn't noticed that she had been sleeping that deeply, to not have felt that he had carried her out of the car.

"Do you want something to drink?"

She shook her head. She just wanted to sleep now.

"I'm seriously thinking you should go home earlier, Teresa," he told her, helping her undress and get her into her sleepwear. "There will be another day tomorrow, as well. Right now, our baby needs all of your attention."

And perhaps he was right. She had the right to leave the office with everybody else.

He slipped into her arms when he had finished changing, and she sighed contently just as he did, his hand on her belly.

"You really have improved greatly due to your therapy," she whispered. He shook his head.

"No. It was you who improved me. I could have gone to therapy any time, but it was you who suggested it and made me realize that it was the best option. You gave me a purpose. I wouldn't have gone if it weren't for you. You hugged all my broken pieces back together, therapy only helped glue them shut."

"But it can't have been all my doing."

"I think it was. Well, you helped me to a few inches from the border between the two worlds. Therapy pushed me over it."

"I'm really glad that there is improvement. It hurt me to see you like that."

He buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"I guess I can always count on my Saint Teresa to come save me."

Wasn't that the biggest truth?

~...~

Even well into her pregnancy, having returned to the states for months, she remained captivated by the beaches of Venezuela. She had never felt as free before as when she had sat on their balcony there, looking over the clear blue water, and even though she had been born and raised Chicagoan and had not seen this much sun in her life she had never felt at home quite like she had in Venezuela. It was where she had confessed her love to Patrick Jane, where they had kissed and made love for the first time, where he had proposed to her, and where they had conceived their baby. The beaches held a special place in her heart.

Jane had picked up on it, of course. Their new work space was LA based, and they had started renting an apartment close to the city, he knew it wouldn't be enough to satisfy her desire to be close to the beach. They had visited Santa Monica beach together with their friends on a lovely summer day, and she had simply wandered off from the group to walk down the seashore barefoot. It didn't take long until Jane joined her, his hand taking hers.

"Hey."

She looked at him. "Hi."

"What's wrong?" he simply asked, because she knew that he would know something was wrong anyway.

"I miss Venezuela."

He was quiet for a while, all that time they continued walking. He nodded eventually.

"Me too."

"We could just go back."

He shook his head. "Healthcare isn't as good there as it is here. I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby."

She sighed. He was right, of course. When it had been the two of them, they could well manage the sometimes tough environment of their city, but their baby needed all the care in the world, should they need it.

He made her stop and turned her to him. He put their foreheads together. "We can be happy in the states, too, my dear Teresa. As long as we have each other."

They stood like that for a while, her arms wrapped around him tightly for as much as they could while her belly was in the way. He was right - again. She really only needed him. But she couldn't turn off that little voice in her head that she was the happiest at the beach, sand between her toes and breeze in her hair.

He pulled away from her all of a sudden. "That's it. It could work."

"What could work?"

He wrapped his hand around hers again, pulling her with him, and she protested for he was going much too quickly and she couldn't keep up with him. She was about to tell him off and stop in her tracks when he came to a sudden halt.

He looked at her, and she frowned. What was he getting at?

"We might not be able to get back to Venezuela with our little one… but we might be able to get Venezuela here."

"What do you mean?"

He pointed somewhere away from the beach, and she followed his hand until her gaze landed on a small beach house - with a 'for sale' sign in the front yard.

"I remember seeing it on our way here."

"Jane, this is too much. We can't just live here."

"Why not?"

"This is Santa Monica. I'm sure that place is too expensive for us."

He bowed down until his lips touched her ear. "Nothing is too expensive for us, Teresa. We can afford it and still spoil you and our little one."

He let the idea sink in while he walked towards the house, his happy smile definitely in place, and she could clearly envision him walking the stairs leading up to the porch with their child on a beautiful spring day, the two hand in hand, laughing at each other's jokes.

He turned back to her, and she could still see his eyes gleaming even from this far away, and he spread out his arms in complete awe.

"I love you, Teresa!" he yelled, and she rolled her eyes and made her way over to him. Once there, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

She kissed the corner of his mouth. "I love you, too. And I love this house."

He placed an offer that same day, inquiring on any other competitors and raising the money tremendously, and it was accepted. Four weeks later, they got the keys.

They lay on their new bed, his head resting against her swollen belly, her fingers in his neck, brushing the short curls there.

"I can't believe how lucky I've become," she heard him whisper. "I asked you to come with me… and you did."

She smiled. She brushed the cheek that was in reach for her. "I did."

"And… I know we had some setbacks back there… but… I'm so happy we got through it… and I'm so happy that you love me, too. Even more than I could have expected."

She pulled on his hair so he would come up to face her. She kissed his lips.

"What did you expect?" she asked him after a while. He looked her in the eye, and thought about her question, but eventually he just shrugged.

"Peace. I didn't expect anything, but I wanted peace. For me, but especially for you. And I know it wasn't admirable to pull you with me like that… but I wanted to protect you, because it was clear that things were going to get sour. I know you don't want to be protected… but I also knew you would stay there, even if it meant that your whole life would be crumbling down. I didn't want that for you… I still don't. And perhaps I wanted you to find someone who would love you properly, who could offer you the whole world, away from the CBI, from Sacramento… from me. But you have shown me… that you love _me_. And that means… everything to me."

He looked at her, and just like any other time he did, his eyes were overflowing with love, happiness written in every line on his perfect face.

"I wanted to give you peace… but instead, you gave it to me."

She smiled at him. She hoped he would never stop being so poetic - she loved how good he was with words.

"You gave me peace, too. Don't forget that."

"But how?"

She showed him the ring he had put on her finger months ago, and she remembered how he had explained that he hoped it could be a way of thinking about him, even when he wasn't there. What was that, if it wasn't peace? And the fact that there was a teensy tiny baby in her belly, just waiting to show their face and light up Lisbon's life.

"You make me the happiest woman I have ever known, Patrick Jane. I have never known love the way you love me. The way… I love me, when I'm with you. And I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, that you disregarded my wishes by pulling me with you to Venezuela. You're right, I would have stayed in the US knowing my life was a shithole. You did me a favor by taking me away from there. I can't thank you enough."

He snorted at her words, and his reaction made her chuckle.

"My life was a shithole, wasn't it just?"

He nodded. "So was mine. But not anymore. Not with you by my side."

He kissed her good, like he always did, never missing an opportunity to talk love with his lips, and she responded in kind, stopping just before they started something they couldn't finish.

She took his face between her hands and looked him in the eye. He put one hand on her belly, his eyes sparkling with love.

"I love you, my sweet Patrick."

"And I love you, my darling Teresa."

She pushed herself up, barely managing, and got off the bed. She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her.

"C'mon, we gotta enjoy the beach!"

He chuckled and lifted her, and he only lowered her when he was in the ocean knee deep. She watched as he likely ruined the good suit he had put on to impress the realtor, chuckling and looking back at her from time to time.

Her happy idiot. She had gotten so lucky.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay! There you go! I hope you liked the story, and even if it was odd and weird at some times, I hope you still sort of liked it! Let me know in a review, and I'll start writing another story now for you to enjoy! ;)**


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